Tuesday's Serial: “Lavengro” by George Borrow (in English) - XXIX

Chapter 56

considerably sobered—the power of writing—the tempter—the hungry talent—work concluded

 

Rather late in the morning I awoke; for a few minutes I lay still, perfectly still; my imagination was considerably sobered; the scenes and situations which had pleased me so much over night appeared to me in a far less captivating guise that morning. I felt languid and almost hopeless—the thought, however, of my situation soon roused me. I must make an effort to improve the posture of my affairs; there was no time to be lost; so I sprang out of bed, breakfasted on bread and water, and then sat down doggedly to write the life of Joseph Sell.

It was a great thing to have formed my plan, and to have arranged the scenes in my head, as I had done on the preceding night. The chief thing requisite at present was the mere mechanical act of committing them to paper. This I did not find at first so easy as I could wish—I wanted mechanical skill; but I persevered, and before evening I had written ten pages. I partook of some bread and water; and before I went to bed that night, I had completed fifteen pages of my life of Joseph Sell.

The next day I resumed my task—I found my power of writing considerably increased; my pen hurried rapidly over the paper—my brain was in a wonderfully teeming state; many scenes and visions which I had not thought of before were evolved, and as fast as evolved, written down; they seemed to be more pat to my purpose, and more natural to my history, than many others which I had imagined before, and which I made now give place to these newer creations: by about midnight I had added thirty fresh pages to my Life and Adventures of Joseph Sell.

The third day arose—it was dark and dreary out of doors, and I passed it drearily enough within; my brain appeared to have lost much of its former glow, and my pen much of its power; I, however, toiled on, but at midnight had only added seven pages to my history of Joseph Sell.

On the fourth day the sun shone brightly—I arose, and, having breakfasted as usual, I fell to work. My brain was this day wonderfully prolific, and my pen never before or since glided so rapidly over the paper; towards night I began to feel strangely about the back part of my head, and my whole system was extraordinarily affected. I likewise occasionally saw double—a tempter now seemed to be at work within me.

'You had better leave off now for a short space,' said the tempter, 'and go out and drink a pint of beer; you have still one shilling left—if you go on at this rate, you will go mad—go out and spend sixpence, you can afford it, more than half your work is done.' I was about to obey the suggestion of the tempter, when the idea struck me that, if I did not complete the work whilst the fit was on me, I should never complete it; so I held on. I am almost afraid to state how many pages I wrote that day of the life of Joseph Sell.

From this time I proceeded in a somewhat more leisurely manner; but, as I drew nearer and nearer to the completion of my task, dreadful fears and despondencies came over me.—It will be too late, thought I; by the time I have finished the work, the bookseller will have been supplied with a tale or a novel. Is it probable that, in a town like this, where talent is so abundant—hungry talent too—a bookseller can advertise for a tale or a novel, without being supplied with half a dozen in twenty-four hours? I may as well fling down my pen—I am writing to no purpose. And these thoughts came over my mind so often, that at last, in utter despair, I flung down the pen. Whereupon the tempter within me said—'And, now you have flung down the pen, you may as well fling yourself out of the window; what remains for you to do?' Why, to take it up again, thought I to myself, for I did not like the latter suggestion at all—and then forthwith I resumed the pen, and wrote with greater vigour than before, from about six o'clock in the evening until I could hardly see, when I rested for a while, when the tempter within me again said, or appeared to say—'All you have been writing is stuff, it will never do—a drug—a mere drug'; and methought these last words were uttered in the gruff tones of the big publisher. 'A thing merely to be sneezed at,' a voice like that of Taggart added; and then I seemed to hear a sternutation,—as I probably did, for recovering from a kind of swoon, I found myself shivering with cold. The next day I brought my work to a conclusion.

But the task of revision still remained; for an hour or two I shrank from it, and remained gazing stupidly at the pile of paper which I had written over. I was all but exhausted, and I dreaded, on inspecting the sheets, to find them full of absurdities which I had paid no regard to in the furor of composition. But the task, however trying to my nerves, must be got over; at last, in a kind of desperation, I entered upon it. It was far from an easy one; there were, however, fewer errors and absurdities than I had anticipated. About twelve o'clock at night I had got over the task of revision. 'To-morrow for the bookseller,' said I, as my head sank on the pillow. 'Oh me!'

 

 

Chapter 57

nervous look—the bookseller's wife—the last stake—terms—god forbid!—will you come to tea?

 

On arriving at the bookseller's shop, I cast a nervous look at the window, for the purpose of observing whether the paper had been removed or not. To my great delight the paper was in its place; with a beating heart I entered, there was nobody in the shop; as I stood at the counter, however, deliberating whether or not I should call out, the door of what seemed to be a back-parlour opened, and out came a well-dressed lady-like female, of about thirty, with a good-looking and intelligent countenance. 'What is your business, young man?' said she to me, after I had made her a polite bow. 'I wish to speak to the gentleman of the house,' said I. 'My husband is not within at present,' she replied; 'what is your business?' 'I have merely brought something to show him,' said I, 'but I will call again.' 'If you are the young gentleman who has been here before,' said the lady, 'with poems and ballads, as, indeed, I know you are,' she added, smiling, 'for I have seen you through the glass door, I am afraid it will be useless; that is,' she added with another smile, 'if you bring us nothing else.' 'I have not brought you poems and ballads, now,' said I, 'but something widely different; I saw your advertisement for a tale or a novel, and have written something which I think will suit; and here it is,' I added, showing the roll of paper which I held in my hand. 'Well,' said the bookseller's wife, 'you may leave it, though I cannot promise you much chance of its being accepted. My husband has already had several offered to him; however, you may leave it; give it me. Are you afraid to intrust it to me?' she demanded somewhat hastily, observing that I hesitated. 'Excuse me,' said I, 'but it is all I have to depend upon in the world; I am chiefly apprehensive that it will not be read.' 'On that point I can reassure you,' said the good lady, smiling, and there was now something sweet in her smile. 'I give you my word that it shall be read; come again to-morrow morning at eleven, when, if not approved, it shall be returned to you.'

I returned to my lodging, and forthwith betook myself to bed, notwithstanding the earliness of the hour. I felt tolerably tranquil; I had now cast my last stake, and was prepared to abide by the result. Whatever that result might be, I could have nothing to reproach myself with; I had strained all the energies which nature had given me in order to rescue myself from the difficulties which surrounded me. I presently sank into a sleep, which endured during the remainder of the day, and the whole of the succeeding night. I awoke about nine on the morrow, and spent my last threepence on a breakfast somewhat more luxurious than the immediately preceding ones, for one penny of the sum was expended on the purchase of milk.

At the appointed hour I repaired to the house of the bookseller; the bookseller was in his shop. 'Ah,' said he, as soon as I entered, 'I am glad to see you.' There was an unwonted heartiness in the bookseller's tones, an unwonted benignity in his face. 'So,' said he, after a pause, 'you have taken my advice, written a book of adventure; nothing like taking the advice, young man, of your superiors in age. Well, I think your book will do, and so does my wife, for whose judgment I have a great regard; as well I may, as she is the daughter of a first-rate novelist, deceased. I think I shall venture on sending your book to the press.' 'But,' said I, 'we have not yet agreed upon terms.' 'Terms, terms,' said the bookseller; 'ahem! well, there is nothing like coming to terms at once. I will print the book, and give you half the profit when the edition is sold.' 'That will not do,' said I; 'I intend shortly to leave London: I must have something at once.' 'Ah, I see,' said the bookseller, 'in distress; frequently the case with authors, especially young ones. Well, I don't care if I purchase it of you, but you must be moderate; the public are very fastidious, and the speculation may prove a losing one after all. Let me see, will five-hem—' he stopped. I looked the bookseller in the face; there was something peculiar in it. Suddenly it appeared to me as if the voice of him of the thimble sounded in my ear, 'Now is your time, ask enough, never such another chance of establishing yourself; respectable trade, pea and thimble.' 'Well,' said I at last, 'I have no objection to take the offer which you were about to make, though I really think five-and-twenty guineas to be scarcely enough, everything considered.' 'Five-and-twenty guineas!' said the bookseller; 'are you—what was I going to say—I never meant to offer half as much—I mean a quarter; I was going to say five guineas—I mean pounds; I will, however, make it up guineas.' 'That will not do,' said I; 'but, as I find we shall not deal, return me my manuscript, that I may carry it to some one else.' The bookseller looked blank. 'Dear me,' said he, 'I should never have supposed that you would have made any objection to such an offer; I am quite sure that you would have been glad to take five pounds for either of the two huge manuscripts of songs and ballads that you brought me on a former occasion.' 'Well,' said I, 'if you will engage to publish either of those two manuscripts, you shall have the present one for five pounds.' 'God forbid that I should make any such bargain!' said the bookseller; 'I would publish neither on any account; but, with respect to this last book, I have really an inclination to print it, both for your sake and mine; suppose we say ten pounds.' 'No,' said I, 'ten pounds will not do; pray restore me my manuscript.' 'Stay,' said the bookseller, 'my wife is in the next room, I will go and consult her.' Thereupon he went into his back room, where I heard him conversing with his wife in a low tone; in about ten minutes he returned. 'Young gentleman,' said he, 'perhaps you will take tea with us this evening, when we will talk further over the matter.'

That evening I went and took tea with the bookseller and his wife, both of whom, particularly the latter, overwhelmed me with civility. It was not long before I learned that the work had been already sent to the press, and was intended to stand at the head of a series of entertaining narratives, from which my friends promised themselves considerable profit. The subject of terms was again brought forward. I stood firm to my first demand for a long time; when, however, the bookseller's wife complimented me on my production in the highest terms, and said that she discovered therein the germs of genius, which she made no doubt would some day prove ornamental to my native land, I consented to drop my demand to twenty pounds, stipulating, however, that I should not be troubled with the correction of the work.

Before I departed, I received the twenty pounds, and departed with a light heart to my lodgings.

Reader, amidst the difficulties and dangers of this life, should you ever be tempted to despair, call to mind these latter chapters of the life of Lavengro. There are few positions, however difficult, from which dogged resolution and perseverance may not liberate you.

 

 

Chapter 58

indisposition—a resolution—poor equivalents—the piece of gold—flashing eyes—how beautiful

 

I had long ago determined to leave London as soon as the means should be in my power, and, now that they were, I determined to leave the Great City, yet I felt some reluctance to go. I would fain have pursued the career of original authorship which had just opened itself to me, and have written other tales of adventure. The bookseller had given me encouragement enough to do so; he had assured me that he should be always happy to deal with me for an article (that was the word) similar to the one I had brought him, provided my terms were moderate; and the bookseller's wife, by her complimentary language, had given me yet more encouragement. But for some months past I had been far from well, and my original indisposition, brought on partly by the peculiar atmosphere of the Big City, partly by anxiety of mind, had been much increased by the exertions which I had been compelled to make during the last few days. I felt that, were I to remain where I was, I should die, or become a confirmed valetudinarian. I would go forth into the country, travelling on foot, and, by exercise and inhaling pure air, endeavour to recover my health, leaving my subsequent movements to be determined by Providence.

But whither should I bend my course? Once or twice I thought of walking home to the old town, stay some time with my mother and my brother, and enjoy the pleasant walks in the neighbourhood; but, though I wished very much to see my mother and my brother, and felt much disposed to enjoy the said pleasant walks, the old town was not exactly the place to which I wished to go at this present juncture. I was afraid that people would ask, Where are your Northern Ballads? Where are your alliterative translations from Ab Gwilym—of which you were always talking, and with which you promised to astonish the world? Now, in the event of such interrogations, what could I answer? It is true I had compiled Newgate Lives and Trials, and had written the life of Joseph Sell, but I was afraid that the people of the old town would scarcely consider these as equivalents for the Northern Ballads and the songs of Ab Gwilym. I would go forth and wander in any direction but that of the old town.

But how one's sensibility on any particular point diminishes with time; at present I enter the old town perfectly indifferent as to what the people may be thinking on the subject of the songs and ballads. With respect to the people themselves, whether, like my sensibility, their curiosity has altogether evaporated, whether, which is at least equally probable, they never entertained any, one thing is certain, that never in a single instance have they troubled me with any remarks on the subject of the songs and ballads.

As it was my intention to travel on foot, with a bundle and a stick, I despatched my trunk containing some few clothes and books to the old town. My preparations were soon made; in about three days I was in readiness to start.

Before departing, however, I bethought me of my old friend the apple-woman of London Bridge. Apprehensive that she might be labouring under the difficulties of poverty, I sent her a piece of gold by the hands of a young maiden in the house in which I lived. The latter punctually executed her commission, but brought me back the piece of gold. The old woman would not take it; she did not want it, she said, 'Tell the poor thin lad,' she added, 'to keep it for himself, he wants it more than I.'

Rather late one afternoon I departed from my lodging, with my stick in one hand and a small bundle in the other, shaping my course to the south-west: when I first arrived, somewhat more than a year before, I had entered the city by the north-east. As I was not going home, I determined to take my departure in the direction the very opposite to home.

Just as I was about to cross the street called the Haymarket, at the lower part, a cabriolet, drawn by a magnificent animal, came dashing along at a furious rate; it stopped close by the curb-stone where I was, a sudden pull of the reins nearly bringing the spirited animal upon its haunches. The Jehu who had accomplished this feat was Francis Ardry. A small beautiful female, with flashing eyes, dressed in the extremity of fashion, sat beside him.

'Holloa, friend,' said Francis Ardry, 'whither bound?'

'I do not know,' said I; 'all I can say is, that I am about to leave London.'

'And the means?' said Francis Ardry.

'I have them,' said I, with a cheerful smile.

'Qui est celui-ci?' demanded the small female, impatiently.

'C'est—mon ami le plus intime; so you were about to leave London, without telling me a word,' said Francis Ardry, somewhat angrily.

'I intended to have written to you,' said I: 'what a splendid mare that is.'

'Is she not?' said Francis Ardry, who was holding in the mare with difficulty; 'she cost a hundred guineas.'

'Qu'est ce qu'il dit?' demanded his companion.

'Il dit que le jument est bien beau.'

'Allons, mon ami, il est tard,' said the beauty, with a scornful toss of her head; 'allons!'

'Encore un moment,' said Francis Ardry; 'and when shall I see you again?'

'I scarcely know,' I replied: 'I never saw a more splendid turn out.'

'Qu'est ce qu'il dit?' said the lady again.

'Il dit que tout l'équipage est en assez bon goût.'

'Allons, c'est un ours,' said the lady; 'le cheval même en a peur,' added she, as the mare reared up on high.

'Can you find nothing else to admire but the mare and the equipage?' said Francis Ardry, reproachfully, after he had with some difficulty brought the mare to order.

Lifting my hand, in which I held my stick, I took off my hat. 'How beautiful!' said I, looking the lady full in the face.

'Comment?' said the lady, inquiringly.

'Il dit que vous êtes belle comme un ange,' said Francis Ardry, emphatically.

'Mais, à la bonne heure! arrêtez, mon ami,' said the lady to Francis Ardry, who was about to drive off; 'je voudrais bien causer un moment avec lui; arrêtez, il est délicieux.—Est-ce bien ainsi que vous traitez vos amis?' said she passionately, as Francis Ardry lifted up his whip. 'Bon jour, Monsieur, bon jour,' said she, thrusting her head from the side and looking back, as Francis Ardry drove off at the rate of thirteen miles an hour.

Monday's Illustraded Word: "The Flame Goddess" by unknown writer (in English)

art by unknown artist - Slave Girl Comics #2 - Avon, April 1949.

 

 

Saturday's Good Reading: "Guarda Fiel e Providente" by Saint Bernardino of Siena (translated into Portuguese)

 

É esta a regra geral de todas as graças especiais concedidas a qualquer criatura racional: quando a providência divina escolhe alguém para uma graça particular ou estado superior, também dá à pessoa assim escolhida todos os carismas necessários para o exercício de sua missão.

Isto verificou-se de forma eminente em São José, pai adotivo do Senhor Jesus Cristo e verdadeiro esposo da rainha do mundo e senhora dos anjos. Com efeito, ele foi escolhido pelo Pai eterno para ser o guarda fiel e providente dos seus maiores tesouros: o Filho de Deus e a Virgem Maria. E cumpriu com a máxima fidelidade sua missão. Eis por que o Senhor lhe disse: Servo bom e fiel! Vem participar da alegria do teu Senhor! (Mt,25,21).

Consideremos São José diante de toda a Igreja de Cristo: acaso não é ele o homem especialmente escolhido, por quem e sob cuja proteção se realizou a entrada de Cristo no mundo de modo digno e honesto? Se, portanto, toda a santa Igreja tem uma dívida para com a Virgem Mãe, por ter recebido a Cristo por meio dela, assim também, depois dela, deve a São José uma singular graça e reverência.

Ele encerra o Antigo Testamento; nele a dignidade dos patriarcas e dos profetas obtém o fruto prometido. Mas ele foi o único que realmente possuiu aquilo que a bondade divina lhes tinha prometido.

E não duvidemos que a familiaridade, o respeito e a sublimíssima dignidade que Cristo lhe tributou, enquanto procedeu na terra como um filho para com seu pai, certamente também nada disso lhe negou no céu, mas antes, completou e aperfeiçoou.

Por isso, não é sem razão que o Senhor lhe declara: Vem participar da alegria do teu Senhor! Embora a alegria da felicidade eterna penetre no coração do homem, o Senhor preferiu dizer: Vem participar da alegria. Quis assim insinuar misteriosamente que a alegria não está só dentro dele, mas o envolve de todos os lados e o absorve e submerge como um abismo sem fim.

Lembrai-nos de nós, São José, e intercedei com vossas orações junto de vosso Filho adotivo; tornai-nos também propícia vossa Esposa, a santíssima Virgem, mãe daquele que vive e reina com o Pai e o Espírito Santo pelos séculos sem fim. Amém.

Friday's Sung Word: "Bambo do Bambu" by Almirante and Valdo de Abreu (in Portuguese).

To understand the messy story of this song, you can read this article.

E olha o bambo de bambu, bambu,
E olha o bambo de bambu, bambulelê
E olha o bambo de bambu, bambulalá
Eu quero ver dizer três vezes bambulelê, bambulalá

Fui a um banquete na casa do Zé Pequeno
A mesa tava no sereno
P'rá todo mundo cabê
Tinha toda qualidade de talher
Tinha mais home que mulié
Mas só não tinha o que comer (bambu)

E no tal banquete, dito cujo, referido
Mulher que não tinha marido
Não passou aperto não
Pois as danada para não morrer de fome
Cada qual comeu seu home
Não tiveram indigestão (bambu)

Conheço um home que tem 17 filho
Que pôs tudo no desvio
P'rá polícia empregá
A mulher dele de beleza ainda promete
Dar à luz a 17
P'rá depois então parar (bambu)

 

You can listen "Bambo do Bambu"  sung by Carmen Miranda in the movie "Down Argentine Way" here.

Thursday Serial: “The Human Chord” by Algernon Blackwood (in English) - VI

Chapter 7

I

And thus the affair moved nearer to its close. The theory and practice of molding form by means of sound was the next bang at his mind--delivered in the clergyman's most convincing manner, and, in view of the proofs that soon followed, an experience that seemed to dislocate the very foundations of his visible world, deemed hitherto secure enough at least to stand on.

Had it all consisted merely of talk on Mr. Skale's part the secretary would have known better what to think. It was the interludes of practical proof that sent his judgment so awry. These definite, sensible results, sandwiched in between all the visionary explanation, left him utterly at sea. He could not reconcile them altogether with hypnotism. He could only, as an ordinary man, already with a bias in the mystical direction, come to the one conclusion that this overwhelming and hierophantic man was actually in touch with cisterns of force so terrific as to be dangerous to what he had hitherto understood to be--life. It was easy enough for the clergyman, in his optimistic enthusiasm, to talk about their leading to a larger life. But what if the experiment failed, and these colossal powers ran amok upon the world--and upon the invokers?

Moreover--chief anxiety of all--what was this name to be experimented with? What was the nature of this force that Skale hoped to invoke--so mighty that it should make them "as gods," so terrible that a chord alone could compass even the first of its stupendous syllables?

And, further, he was still haunted with the feeling that other "beings" occupied certain portions of the rambling mansion, and more than once recently he had wakened in the night with an idea, carried over from dreams possibly, that the corridor outside his bedroom was moving and alive with footsteps. "From dreams possibly," for when he went and peered shivering through the narrow crack of the half-opened door, he saw nothing unusual. And another time--he was awake beyond question at the moment, for he had been reading till two o'clock and had but just extinguished the candle--he had heard a sound that he found impossible to describe, but that sent all the blood with a swift rush from the region of his heart. It was not wind; it was not the wood cracking with the frost; it was not snow sliding from the slates outside. It was something that simultaneously filled the entire building, yet sounded particularly loud just outside his door; and it came with the abrupt suddenness of a report. It made him think of all the air in the rooms and halls and passages being withdrawn by immense suction, as though a gigantic dome had been dropped over the building in order to produce a vacuum. And just after it he heard, unmistakably, the long soft stride of Skale going past his door and down the whole length of the corridor--stealthily, very quickly, with the hurry of anxiety or alarm in his silence and his speed.

This, moreover, had now happened twice, so that imagination seemed a far-fetched explanation. And on both occasions the clergyman had remained invisible on the day following until the evening, and had then reappeared, quiet and as usual, but with an atmosphere of immense vibratory force somehow about his person, and a glow in his face and eyes that at moments seemed positively colored.

No word of explanation, however, had as yet been forthcoming of these omens, and Spinrobin waited with what patience he could, meanwhile, for the final test which he knew to be close upon him. And in his diary, the pages usually left blank now because words failed him, he wrote a portion of Anone's cry that had caught his memory and expressed a little of what he felt:

 

... for fiery thoughts

Do shape themselves within me, more and more,

Whereof I catch the issue, as I hear

Dead sounds at night come from the inmost hills,

''Like footsteps upon wool''....

 

II

It was within three days of the expiration of his trial month that he then had this conversation with the clergyman, which he understood quite well was offered by way of preparation for the bigger tests about to come. He has reported what he could of it; it seemed to him at the time both plausible and absurd; it was of a piece, that is, with the rest of the whole fabulous adventure.

Mr. Skale, as they walked over the snowy moors in the semi-darkness between tea and dinner, had been speaking to him about the practical results obtainable by sound-vibrations (what he already knew for that matter), and how it is possible by fiddling long enough upon a certain note to fiddle down a bridge and split it asunder. From that he passed on to the scientific fact that the ultimate molecules of matter are not only in constant whirring motion, but that also they do not actually touch one another. The atoms composing the point of a pin, for instance, shift and change without ceasing, and--there is space between them.

Then, suddenly taking Spinrobin's arm, he came closer, his booming tone dropping to a whisper:

"To change the form of anything," he said in his ear, "is merely to change the arrangement of those dancing molecules, to alter their rate of vibration." His eyes, even in the obscurity of the dusk, went across the other's face like flames.

"By means of sound?" asked the other, already beginning to feel eerie.

The clergyman nodded his great head in acquiescence.

"Just as the vibrations of heat-waves," he said after a pause, "can alter the form of a metal by melting it, so the vibrations of sound can alter the form of a thing by inserting themselves between those whirling molecules and changing their speed and arrangement--change the outline, that is."

The idea seemed fairly to buffet the little secretary in the face, but Mr. Skale's proximity was too overpowering to permit of very clear thinking. Feeling that a remark was expected from him, he managed to ejaculate an obvious objection in his mind.

"But is there any sound that can produce vibrations fine and rapid enough--to--er--accomplish such a result?"

Mr. Skale appeared almost to leap for pleasure as he heard it. In reality he merely straightened himself up.

"That," he cried aloud, to the further astonishment and even alarm of his companion, "is another part of my discovery--an essential particular of it: the production of sound-vibrations fine and rapid enough to alter shapes! Listen and I will tell you!" He lowered his voice again. "I have found out that by uttering the true inner name of anything I can set in motion harmonics--harmonics, note well, half the wave length and twice the frequency!--that are delicate and swift enough to insert themselves between the whirling molecules of any reasonable object--any object, I mean, not too closely or coherently packed. By then swelling or lowering my voice I can alter the scale, size or shape of that object almost indefinitely, its parts nevertheless retaining their normal relative proportions. I can scatter it to a huge scale by separating its molecules indefinitely, or bring them so closely together that the size of the object would be reduced to a practical invisibility!"

"Re-create the world, in fact!" gasped Spinrobin, feeling the earth he knew slipping away under his feet.

Mr. Skale turned upon him and stood still a moment. The huge moors, glimmering pale and unreal beneath their snow, ran past them into the sky--silent forms corresponding to who knows what pedal notes? The wind sighed--audible expression of who shall say what mighty shapes?... Something of the passion of sound, with all its mystery and splendor, entered his heart in that windy sigh. Was anything real? Was anything permanent?... Were Sound and Form merely interchangeable symbols of some deeper uncataloged Reality? And was the visible cohesion after all the illusory thing?

"Re-mold the whole universe, sir!" he roared through the darkness, in a way that made the other wish for the touch of Miriam's hand to steady him. "I could make you, my dear Spinrobin, immense, tiny, invisible, or by a partial utterance of your name, permanently crooked. I could overwhelm your own vibrations and withdraw their force, as by suction of a vacuum, absorbing yourself into my own being. By uttering the name of this old earth, if I knew it, I could alter its face, toss the forests like green dust into the sea, and lift the pebbles of the seashore to the magnitude of moons! Or, did I know the true name of the sun, I could utter it in such a way as to identify myself with its very being, and so escape the pitiful terrors of a limited personal existence!"

He seized his companion's arm and began to stride down the mountainside at a terrific pace, almost lifting Spinrobin from his feet as he did so. About the ears of the panting secretary the wild words tore like bullets, whistling a new and dreadful music.

"My dear fellow," he shouted through the night, "at the Word of Power of a true man the nations would rush into war, or sink suddenly into eternal peace; the mountains be moved into the sea, and the dead arise. To know the sounds behind the manifestations of Nature, the names of mechanical as well as of psychical Forces, of Hebrew angels, as of Christian virtues, is to know Powers that you can call upon at will--and use! Utter them in the true vibratory way and you waken their counterpart in yourself and stir thus mighty psychic powers into activity in your Soul."

He rained the words down upon the other's head like a tempest.

"Can you wonder that the walls of Jericho fell flat before a 'Sound,' or that the raging waves of the sea lay still before a voice that called their Name? My discovery, Mr. Spinrobin, will run through the world like a purifying fire. For to utter the true names of individuals, families, tribes and nations, will be to call them to the knowledge of their highest Selves, and to lift them into tune with the music of the Voice of God."

They reached the front door, where the gleam of lamps shone with a homely welcome through the glass panels. The clergyman released his companion's arm; then bent down towards him and added in a tone that held in it for the first time something of the gravity of death:

"Only remember--that to utter falsely, to pronounce incorrectly, to call a name incompletely, is the beginning of all evil. For it is to lie with the very soul. It is also to evoke forces without the adequate corresponding shape that covers and controls them, and to attract upon yourself the destructive qualities of these Powers--to your own final disintegration and annihilation."

Spinrobin entered the house, filled with a sense of awe that was cold and terrible, and greater than all his other sensations combined. The winds of fear and ruin blew shrill about his naked soul. None the less he was steadfast. He would remain to bless. Mr. Skale might be violent in mind, unbalanced, possibly mad; but his madness thundered at the doors of heaven, and the sound of that thundering completed the conquest of his admiration. He really believed that when the end came those mighty doors would actually open. And the thought woke a kind of elemental terror in him that was not of this world--yet marvelously attractive.

 

III

That night the singular rushing sound again disturbed him. It seemed as before to pass through the entire building, but this time it included a greater space in its operations, for he fancied he could hear it outside the house as well, traveling far up into the recesses of the dark mountains. Like the sweep of immense draughts of air it went down the passage and rolled on into the sky, making him think of the clergyman's suggestion that some sounds might require airwaves of a hundred miles instead of a few inches, too vast to be heard as sound. And shortly after it followed the great gliding stride of Mr. Skale himself down the corridor. That, at least, was unmistakable.

During the following day, moreover, Mr. Skale remained invisible. Spinrobin, of course, had never permitted himself to search the house, or even to examine the other rooms in his own corridor. The quarters where Miriam slept were equally unknown to him. But he was quite certain that these prolonged periods of absence were spent by the clergyman in some remote part of the rambling building where there existed isolated, if not actually secret, rooms in which he practiced the rituals of some dangerous and intrepid worship. And these intimidating and mysterious sounds at night were, of course, something to do with the forces he conjured....

The day was still and windless, the house silent as the grave. He walked about the hills during the afternoon, practicing his Hebrew "Names" and "Words" like a schoolboy learning a lesson. And all about him the slopes of mountain watched him, listening. So did the sheet of snow, shining in the wintry sunlight. The clergyman seemed to have put all sound in his pocket and taken it away with him. The absence of anything approaching noise became almost oppressive. It was a Silence that prepares. Spinrobin went about on tiptoe, spoke to Miriam in whispers, practiced his Names in hushed, expectant tones. He almost expected to see the moors and mountains open their deep sides and let the Sounds of which they were the visible shape escape awfully about him....

In these hours of solitude, all that Skale had told him, and more still that he divined himself, haunted him with a sense of disquieting reality. Inaudible sounds of fearful volume, invisible forms of monstrous character, combinations of both even, impended everywhere about him. He became afraid lest he might stumble, as Skale had done, on the very note that should release them and bring them howling, leaping, crashing about his ears. Therefore, he tried to make himself as small as possible; he muffled steps and voice and personality. If he could, he would have completely disappeared.

He looked forward to Skale's return, but when evening came he was still alone, and he dined tete-a-tete with Miriam for the first time. And she, too, he noticed, was unusually quiet. Almost they seemed to have entered the world of Mrs. Mawle, the silent regions of the deaf. But for the most part it is probable that these queer impressions were due to the unusual state of Spinrobin's imagination. He knew that it was his last night in the place--unless the clergyman accepted him; he knew also that Mr. Skale had absented himself with a purpose, and that the said purpose had to do with the test of Alteration of Forms by Sound, which would surely be upon him before the sun rose. So that, one way and another, it was natural enough that his nerves should have been somewhat overtaxed.

The presence of Miriam and Mrs. Mawle, however, did much to soothe him. The latter, indeed, mothered the pair of them quite absurdly, smiling all the time while she moved about softly with the dishes, and doing her best to make them eat enough for four. Between courses she sat at the end of the room, waiting in the shadows till Miriam beckoned to her, and once or twice going so far as to put her hand upon Spinrobin's shoulder protectively.

His own mind, however, all the time was full of charging visions. He kept thinking of the month just past and of the amazing changes it had brought into his thoughts. He realized, too, now that Mr. Skale was away, something of the lonely and splendid courage of the man, following this terrific, perhaps mad, ideal, day in day out, week in week out, for twenty years and more, his faith never weakening, his belief undaunted. Waves of pity, too, invaded him for the first time--pity for this sweet girl, brought up in ignorance of any other possible world; pity for the deaf old housekeeper, already partially broken, and both sacrificed to the dominant idea of this single, heaven-climbing enthusiast; pity last of all for himself, swept headlong before he had time to reflect, into the audacious purpose of this violent and headstrong super-man.

All manner of emotions stirred now this last evening in his perplexed breast; yet out of the general turmoil one stood forth more clearly than the rest--his proud consciousness that he was taking an important part in something really big at last. Behind the screen of thought and emotion which veiled so puzzlingly the truth, he divined for the first time in his career a golden splendor. If it also terrified him, that was only his cowardice.... In the same way it might be splendid to jump into Niagara just above the falls to snatch a passing flower that seemed more wonderful than any he had seen before, but--!

"Miriam, tomorrow is my last day," he said suddenly, catching her grey eyes upon him in the middle of his strange reflections. "Tonight may be my last night in this house with you."

The girl made no reply, merely looking up and smiling at him. But the singing sensation that usually accompanied her gaze was not present.

"That was very nearly--a discord," she observed presently, referring to his remark. "It was out of tune!" And he realized with a touch of shame what she meant. For it was not true that this was his last evening; he knew really that he would stay on and that Mr. Skale would accept him. Quick as a flash, with her simple intuition, she felt that he had said this merely to coax from her some sign of sympathy or love. And the girl was not to be drawn. She knew quite well that she held him and that their fate, whatever it might be, lay together.

The gentle rebuke made him silent again. They sat there smiling at one another across the table, and old Mrs. Mawle, sitting among the shadows at the far end of the room, her hands crossed in front of her, her white evening cap shining like a halo above her patient face, watched them, also smiling. The rest of the strange meal passed without conversation, for the great silence that all day had wrapped the hills seemed to have invaded the house as well and laid its spell upon every room. A deep hush, listening and expectant, dropped more and more about the building and about themselves.

After dinner they sat for twenty minutes together before the library fire, their toes upon the fender, for, contrary to her habit, Miriam had not vanished at once to her own quarters.

"We're not alone here," remarked Spinrobin presently, in a low voice, and she nodded her head to signify agreement. The presence of Mr. Skale when he was in the house but invisible, was often more real and tremendous than when he stood beside them and thundered. Some part of him, some emanation, some potent psychic messenger from his personality, kept them closely company, and tonight the secretary felt it very vividly. His remark was really another effort to keep in close touch with Miriam, even in thought. He needed her more than ever in this sea of silence that was gathering everywhere about him. Gulf upon gulf it rose and folded over him. His anxiety became every moment more acute, and those black serpents of fear that he dreaded were not very far away. By every fiber in his being he felt certain that a test which should shake the very foundations of his psychical life was slowly and remorselessly approaching him.

Yet, though he longed to speak outright and demand of Miriam what she knew, and especially that she should reveal the place of the clergyman's concealment and what portent it was that required all this dread and muted atmosphere for its preparation, he kept a seal upon his lips, realizing that loyalty forbade, and that the knowledge of her contempt would be even worse than the knowledge of the truth.

And so in due course she rose to go, and as he opened the door for her into the hall, she paused a moment and turned towards him. A sudden inexplicable thrill flashed through him as she turned her eyes upon his face, for he thought at first she was about to speak. He has never forgotten the picture as she stood there so close to his side, the lamplight on her slim figure in its white silk blouse and neat dark skirt, the gloom of the unlit hall and staircase beyond--stood there an instant, then put both her arms about his neck, drew him down to her, and kissed him gently on both cheeks. Twice she kissed him, then was gone into the darkness, so softly that he scarcely heard her steps, and he stood between the shadows and the light, her perfume still lingering, and with it the sweet and magical blessing that she left behind. For that caress, he understood, was the innocent childlike caress of their first days, and with all the power of her loving little soul in it she had given him the message that he craved: "Courage! And keep a brave heart, dear Spinny, tonight!"

Wednesday's Good Reading: "O Padre e o Menino Esperto" by Ruth Guimarães (in Portuguese)

 

Um padre viajava, certa vez, pelas aldeias, escarranchado* numa velha besta ruça. À margem de um rio largo, encontrou um moleque brincando.

– Menino! – Perguntou ele, querendo passar para o outro lado. – Esse rio é fundo?

– Que esperança! – respondeu o menino com uma carinha de anjo. - O gado do meu pai atravessa aí, com a água pelo peito.

O padre, em vista dessa informação, tocou a besta para a água, mas o rio era de uma fundura sem fim, e a besta perdeu o pé. Ela e o padre desapareceram rio adentro, rodaram arrastados pela correnteza, e somente a muito custo conseguiram se salvar. Quando o padre atingiu a margem onde estava o menino, perguntou:

- Onde você mora?

- Perto daqui.

– Quero ir lá.

Foram, mas não encontraram ninguém em casa.

– Onde está seu pai, menino?

- Papai foi plantar o que não nasce.

– E sua mãe?

- Foi trabalhar para comer ontem.

– Esperarei que eles cheguem – declarou o padre, fechando a carranca.

Os pais do menino se demoraram muito, porém quando apareceram, lá estava o padre sentado, esperando, e aí não mais de carranca fechada, e sim todo sorridente.

– Que menino esperto esse seu filho! – disse ele ao casal. – É muito inteligente. Quando eu vinha para cá, ele me disse que o gado do seu pai atravessava o rio com água pelo peito.

– É verdade, – falou o pai - nós criamos patos, eles não afundam.

O padre disfarçou uma careta.

– Pois é – disse ele, sorrindo amarelo. – Ele disse que a senhora tinha ido trabalhar para a família comer ontem.

– Está certo – disse a mãe. – Fui fazer pães para pagar uns que tomei de empréstimo.

– Ele disse também que o senhor foi plantar o que não nasce.

– É isso mesmo – disse o pai. – Fui ao enterro de um dos meus amigos.

"Esse moleque me fez tomar um banho no rio, e quase morrer afogado, mas ele me paga" – pensou o padre. E continuou em voz alta:

- Se os senhores não se incomodassem, eu levaria o menino comigo. Ele é tão inteligente, que é pena deixá-lo na roça, onde o mais que poderá aprender é carpir, cuidar de plantações de milho e feijão miúdo. Se for comigo, será diferente. Frequentará escolas, e poderá vir a ser um grande homem…

Tanto falou, tanto insistiu, que conseguiu o consentimento dos pais do menino e o levou para a cidade. Mal chegaram, o padre perguntou:

- O que é isto onde moro?

- Casa – respondeu o garoto, prontamente, um pouco admirado da pergunta.

– Não é casa, é traficância. Você vai apanhar, para não falar mais bobagem.

Pegou um chicote e deu-lhe umas lambadas na perna.

- O que é que eu sou?

- Padre.

- Não está certo. Sou papa-cristo.

- O que é minha empregada?

- Mulher.

– Não é mulher, é folgazona.

E dava-lhe de chicote.

– O que é isso, menino? – dizia, abrindo a torneira.

– Água.

– Não é água, é abundância.

– Que é isto?

- É um gato – dizia o menino amedrontado.

– Não é gato, é papa-rato.

– E isto?

- Fogo.

– Não é fogo, é esquenta-mundo.

E batia de chicote no garoto. Quando se cansou, guardou o rabo-de-gato e foi dormir a sesta.

Então, o menino pegou o gato, amarrou-lhe um feixe de sapé no rabo e pôs fogo. O bichano, sentindo o rabo queimar, correu pela casa, espantado, e foi parar no telhado, miando desesperadamente. Em pouco tempo, ateou fogo à casa. O menino, vendo o estrago feito, trancou a porta do quarto onde dormia o padre, amontoou os móveis diante dela, e começou a gritar, com toda a força dos pulmões:

 

        "Acorda seu papa-cristo,

        que lá vai o papa-rato

        com o esquenta–mundo no rabo!

        Acorde com a abundância,

        Que leva o diabo à traficância!"

 

O padre acordou e começou a berrar:

- Menino, destranque a porta! – gritava quase asfixiado pela fumaça.

E o menino, sem piedade:

- Não é porta, é batedeira.

– Menino, põe a chave por baixo da porta!

- Não é chave, é giradeira.

– Menino, traga água.

– Não é agua, é abundância.

– Apague o fogo, menino!

- Não é fogo, é esquenta-mundo.

O menino, então, pegou a trouxinha de roupas, e saiu correndo para a sua casa, sem nem olhar para trás.