For the most
wild, yet most homely narrative which I am about to pen, I neither expect nor
solicit belief. Mad indeed would I be to expect it, in a case where my very
senses reject their own evidence. Yet, mad am I not—and very surely do I not
dream. But to-morrow I die, and to-day I would unburthen my soul. My immediate
purpose is to place before the world, plainly, succinctly, and without comment,
a series of mere household events. In their consequences, these events have
terrified— have tortured—have destroyed me. Yet I will not attempt to expound
them. To me, they have presented little but Horror—to many they will seem less
terrible than barroques. Hereafter, perhaps, some intellect may be found which
will reduce my phantasm to the common-place—some intellect more calm, more
logical, and far less excitable than my own, which will perceive, in the
circumstances I detail with awe, nothing more than an ordinary succession of
very natural causes and effects.
From
my infancy I was noted for the docility and humanity of my disposition. My
tenderness of heart was even so conspicious as to make me the jest of my
companions. I was especially fond of animals, and was indulged by my parents
with a great variety of pets. With these I spent most of my time, and never was
so happy as when feeding and caressing them. This peculiarity of character grew
with my growth, and, in my manhood, I derived from it one of my principal
sources of pleasure. To those who have cherished an affection for a faithful
and sagacious dog, I need hardly be at the trouble of explaining the nature or
the intensity of the gratification thus derivable. There is something in the
unselfish and self-sacrificing love of a brute, which goes directly to the
heart of him who has had frequent occasion to test the paltry friendship and
gossamer fidelity of mere Man.
I
married early, and was happy to find in my wife a disposition not uncongenial
with my own. Observing my partiality for domestic pets, she lost no opportunity
of procuring those of the most agreeable kind. We had birds, gold-fish, a fine
dog, rabbits, a small monkey and a cat.
This
latter was a remarkably large and beautiful animal, entirely black, and
sagacious to an astonishing degree. In speaking of her intelligence, my wife,
who at heart was not a little tinctured with superstition, made frequent
allusion to the ancient popular notion, which regarded all black cats as
witches in disguise. Not that she was ever serious upon this point—and I
mention the matter at all for no better reason than that it happens, just now,
to be remembered.
Pluto—this
was the cat's name—was my favorite pet and playmate. I alone fed him, and he
attended me wherever I went about the house. It was even with difficulty that I
could prevent him from following me through the streets.
Our
friendship lasted, in this manner, for several years, during which my general
temperament and character—through the instrumentality of the Fiend Intemperance
had—(I blush to confess it) experienced a radical alteration for the worse. I
grew, day by day, more moody, more irritable, more regardless of the feelings
of others. I suffered myself to use intemperate language to my wife. At length,
I even offered her personal violence. My pets, of course, were made to feel the
change in my disposition. I not only neglected, but ill-used them. For Pluto,
however, I still retained sufficient regard to restrain me from maltreating
him, as I made no scruple of maltreating the rabbits, the monkey, or even the
dog, when by accident, or through affection, they came in my way. But my
disease grew upon me—for what disease is like Alcohol!—and at length even
Pluto, who was now becoming old, and consequently somewhat peevish — even Pluto
began to experience the effects of my ill temper.
One
night, returning home, much intoxicated, from one of my haunts about town, I
fancied that the cat avoided my presence. I seized him; when, in his fright at
my violence, he inflicted a slight wound upon my hand with his teeth. The fury
of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. My original soul
seemed, at once, to take its flight from my body; and a more than fiendish
malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrilled every fibre of my frame. I took from my
waistcoat-pocket a pen-knife, opened it, grasped the poor beast by the throat,
and deliberately cut one of its eyes from the socket! I blush, I burn, I
shudder, while I pen the damnable atrocity.
When
reason returned with the morning— when I had slept off the fumes of the night's
debauch—I experienced a sentiment half of horror, half of remorse, for the
crime of which I had been guilty; but it was, at best, a feeble and equivocal
feeling, and the soul remained untouched. I again plunged into excess, and soon
drowned in wine all memory of the deed.
In
the meantime the cat slowly recovered. The socket of the lost eye presented, it
is true, a frightful appearance, but he no longer appeared to suffer any pain.
He went about the house as usual, but, as might be expected, fled in extreme
terror at my approach. I had so much of my old heart left, as to be, at first,
grieved by this evident dislike on the part of a creature which had once so
loved me. But this feeling soon gave place to irritation. And then came, as if
to my final and irrevocable overthrow, the spirit of Perverseness. Of this
spirit philosophy takes no account. Phrenology finds no place for it among its
organs. Yet I am not more sure that my soul lives, than I am that perverseness
is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart—one of the indivisible
primary faculties, or sentiments, which give direction to the character of Man.
Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or a silly
action, for no other reason than because he knows he should not? Have we not a
perpetual inclination, in the teeth of our best judgment, to violate that which
is Law, merely because we understand it to be such? This spirit of
perverseness, I say, came to my final overthrow. It was this unfathomable
longing of the soul to vex itself—to offer violence to its own nature—to do
wrong for the wrong's sake only—that urged me to continue and finally to
consummate the injury I had inflicted upon the unoffending brute. One morning,
in cool blood, I slipped a noose about its neck and hung it to the limb of a
tree;—hung it with the tears streaming from my eyes, and with the bitterest
remorse at my heart;—hung it because I knew that it had loved me, and because I
felt it had given me no reason of offence;—hung it because I knew that in so
doing I was committing a sin—a deadly sin that would so jeopardise my immortal
soul as to place it—if such a thing were possible—even beyond the reach of the
infinite mercy of the Most Merciful and Most Terrible God.
On
the night of the day on which this cruel deed was done, I was aroused from
sleep by the cry of fire. The curtains of my bed were in flames. The whole
house was blazing. It was with great difficulty that my wife, a servant, and
myself, made our escape from the conflagration. The destruction was complete.
My entire worldly wealth was swallowed up, and I resigned myself thenceforward
to despair.
I
am above the weakness of seeking to establish a sequence of cause and effect,
between the disaster and the atrocity. But I am detailing a chain of facts—and
wish not to leave even a possible link imperfect. On the day succeeding the
fire, I visited the ruins. The walls, with one exception, had fallen in. This
exception was found in a compartment wall, not very thick, which stood about
the middle of the house, and against which had rested the head of my bed. The
plastering had here, in great measure, resisted the action of the fire—a fact
which I attributed to its having been recently spread. About this wall a dense
crowd were collected, and many persons seemed to be examining a particular
portion of it with very minute and eager attention. The words
"strange!" "singular!" and other similar expressions,
excited my curiosity. I approached and saw, as if graven in bas relief upon the
white surface, the figure of a gigantic cat. The impression was given with an
accuracy truly marvellous. There had been a rope about the animal's neck.
When
I first beheld this apparition—for I could scarcely regard it as less—my wonder
and my terror were extreme. But at length reflection came to my aid. The cat, I
remembered, had been hung in a garden adjacent to the house. Upon the alarm of
fire, this garden had been immediately filled by the crowd—by some one of whom
the animal must have been cut from the tree and thrown, through an open window,
into my chamber. This had probably been done with the view of arousing me from
sleep. The falling of other walls had compressed the victim of my cruelty into
the substance of the freshly-spread plaster; the lime of which, with the
flames, and the ammonia from the carcass, had then accomplished the portraiture
as I saw it.
Although
I thus readily accounted to my reason, if not altogether to my conscience, for
the startling fact just detailed, it did not the less fail to make a deep
impression upon my fancy. For months I could not rid myself of the phantasm of
the cat; and, during this period, there came back into my spirit a
half-sentiment that seemed, but was not, remorse. I went so far as to regret
the loss of the animal, and to look about me, among the vile haunts which I now
habitually frequented, for another pet of the same species, and of somewhat
similar appearance, with which to supply its place.
One
night as I sat, half stupified, in a den of more than infamy, my attention was
suddenly drawn to some black object, reposing upon the head of one of the
immense hogsheads of Gin, or of Rum, which constituted the chief furniture of
the apartment. I had been looking steadily at the top of this hogshead for some
minutes, and what now caused me surprise was the fact that I had not sooner
perceived the object thereupon. I approached it, and touched it with my hand.
It was a black cat—a very large one — fully as large as Pluto, and closely
resembling him in every respect but one. Pluto had not a white hair upon any
portion of his body; but this cat had a large, although indefinite splotch of
white, covering nearly the whole region of the breast.
Upon
my touching him, he immediately arose, purred loudly, rubbed against my hand,
and appeared delighted with my notice. This, then, was the very creature of
which I was in search. I at once offered to purchase it of the landlord; but
this person made no claim to it—knew nothing of it—had never seen it before.
I
continued my caresses, and, when I prepared to go home, the animal evinced a
disposition to accompany me. I permitted it to do so; occasionally stooping and
patting it as I proceeded. When it reached the house it domesticated itself at
once, and became immediately a great favorite with my wife.
For
my own part, I soon found a dislike to it arising within me. This was just the
reverse of what I had anticipated; but—I know not how or why it was—its evident
fondness for myself rather disgusted and annoyed. By slow degrees, these
feelings of disgust and annoyance rose into the bitterness of hatred. I avoided
the creature; a certain sense of shame, and the remembrance of my former deed
of cruelty, preventing me from physically abusing it. I did not, for some
weeks, strike, or otherwise violently ill use it; but gradually—very
gradually—I came to look upon it with unutterable loathing, and to flee
silently from its odious presence, as from the breath of a pestilence.
What
added, no doubt, to my hatred of the beast, was the discovery, on the morning
after I brought it home, that, like Pluto, it also had been deprived of one of
its eyes. This circumstance, however, only endeared it to my wife, who, as I
have already said, possessed, in a high degree, that humanity of feeling which
had once been my distinguishing trait, and the source of many of my simplest
and purest pleasures.
With
my aversion to this cat, however, its partiality for myself seemed to increase.
It followed my footsteps with a pertinacity which it would be difficult to make
the reader comprehend. Whenever I sat, it would crouch beneath my chair, or
spring upon my knees, covering me with its loathsome caresses. If I arose to
walk, it would get between my feet and thus nearly throw me down, or, fastening
its long and sharp claws in my dress, clamber, in this manner, to my breast. At
such times, although I longed to destroy it with a blow, I was yet withheld
from so doing, partly by a memory of my former crime, but chiefly—let me
confess it at once— by absolute dread of the beast.
This
dread was not exactly a dread of physical evil— and yet I should be at a loss
how otherwise to define it. I am almost ashamed to own—yes, even in this
felon's cell, I am almost ashamed to own—that the terror and horror with which
the animal inspired me, had been heightened by one of the merest chimæras it
would be possible to conceive. My wife had called my attention, more than once,
to the character of the mark of white hair, of which I have spoken, and which
constituted the sole visible difference between the strange beast and the one I
had destroyed. The reader will remember that this mark, although large, had
been originally very indefinite; but, by slow degrees—degrees nearly
imperceptible, and which for a long time my Reason struggled to reject as
fanciful—it had, at length, assumed a rigorous distinctness of outline. It was
now the representation of an object that I shudder to name—and for this, above
all, I loathed, and dreaded, and would have rid myself of the monster had I
dared—it was now, I say, the image of a hideous — of a ghastly thing—of the
Gallows!—oh, mournful and terrible engine of Horror and of Crime—of Agony and
of Death!
And
now was I indeed wretched beyond the wretchedness of mere Humanity. And a brute
beast —whose fellow I had contemptuously destroyed—a brute beast to work out
for me—for me a man, fashioned in the image of the High God— so much of
insufferable wo! Alas! neither by day nor by night knew I the blessing of Rest
any more! During the former the creature left me no moment alone; and, in the
latter, I started, hourly, from dreams of unutterable fear, to find the hot
breath of the thing upon my face, and its vast weight—an incarnate Night-Mare
that I had no power to shake off— incumbent eternally upon my heart!
Beneath
the pressure of torments such as these, the feeble remnant of the good within
me succumbed. Evil thoughts became my sole intimates—the darkest and most evil
of thoughts. The moodiness of my usual temper increased to hatred of all things
and of all mankind; while, from the sudden, frequent, and ungovernable
outbursts of a fury to which I now blindly abandoned myself, my uncomplaining
wife, alas! was the most usual and the most patient of sufferers.
One
day she accompanied me, upon some household errand, into the cellar of the old
building which our poverty compelled us to inhabit. The cat followed me down
the steep stairs, and, nearly throwing me headlong, exasperated me to madness.
Uplifting an axe, and forgetting, in my wrath, the childish dread which had
hitherto stayed my hand, I aimed a blow at the animal which, of course, would
have proved instantly fatal had it descended as I wished. But this blow was
arrested by the hand of my wife. Goaded, by the interference, into a rage more
than demoniacal, I withdrew my arm from her grasp and buried the axe in her
brain. She fell dead upon the spot, without a groan.
This
hideous murder accomplished, I set myself forthwith, and with entire
deliberation, to the task of concealing the body. I knew that I could not
remove it from the house, either by day or by night, without the risk of being
observed by the neighbours. Many projects entered my mind. At one period I
thought of cutting the corpse into minute fragments, and destroying them by
fire. At another, I resolved to dig a grave for it in the floor of the cellar.
Again, I deliberated about casting it in the well in the yard—about packing it
in a box, as if merchandize, with the usual arrangements, and so getting a
porter to take it from the house. Finally, I hit upon what I considered a far
better expedient than either of these. I determined to wall it up in the
cellar—as the monks of the middle ages are recorded to have walled up their
victims.
For
a purpose such as this the cellar was admirably adapted. Its walls were loosely
constructed, and had lately been plastered throughout with a rough plaster,
which the dampness of the atmosphere had prevented from hardening. Moreover, in
one of the walls was a projection, caused by a false chimney, or fire-place,
that had been filled, or walled up, and made to resemble the rest of the
cellar. I made no doubt that I could readily displace the bricks at this point,
insert the corpse, and wall the whole up as before, so that no eye could detect
any thing suspicious.
And
in this calculation I was not deceived. By means of a crow-bar I easily
dislodged the bricks, and, having carefully deposited the body against the
inner wall, I propped it in that position, while, with little trouble, I
re-laid the whole structure as it originally stood. Having procured mortar,
sand, and hair, with every possible precaution, I prepared a plaster which
could not be distinguished from the old, and with this I very carefully went
over the new brick-work. When I had finished, I felt satisfied that all was
right. The wall did not present the slightest appearance of having been disturbed.
The rubbish on the floor was picked up with the minutest care. I looked around
triumphantly, and said to myself— "Here at least, then, my labor has not
been in vain."
My
next step was to look for the beast which had been the cause of so much
wretchedness; for I had, at length, firmly resolved to put it to death. Had I
been able to meet with it, at the moment, there could have been no doubt of its
fate; but it appeared that the crafty animal had been alarmed at the violence
of my previous anger, and forebore to present itself in my present mood. It is
impossible to describe, or to imagine, the deep, the blissful sense of relief
which the absence of the detested creature occasioned in my bosom. It did not
make its appearance during the night—and thus for one night at least, since its
introduction into the house, I soundly and tranquilly slept; aye, slept even
with the burden of murder upon my soul!
The
second and the third day passed and still my tormentor came not. Once again I
breathed as a freeman. The monster, in terror, had fled the premises forever! I
should behold it no more! My happiness was supreme! The guilt of my dark deed
disturbed me but little. Some few inquiries had been made, but these had been
readily answered. Even a search had been instituted—but of course nothing was
to be discovered. I looked upon my future felicity as secured.
Upon
the fourth day of the assassination, a party of the police came, very
unexpectedly, into the house, and proceeded again to make rigorous
investigation of the premises. Secure, however, in the inscrutability of my
place of concealment, I felt no embarrassment whatever. The officers bade me
accompany them in their search. They left no nook or corner unexplored. At
length, for the third or fourth time, they descended into the cellar. I
quivered not in a muscle. My heart beat calmly as that of one who slumbers in
innocence. I walked the cellar from end to end. I folded my arms upon my bosom
and roamed easily to and fro. The police were thoroughly satisfied and prepared
to depart. The glee at my heart was too strong to be restrained. I burned to
say if but one word, by way of triumph, and to render doubly sure their
assurance of my guiltlessness.
"Gentlemen,"
I said at last, as the party ascended the steps, "I delight to have
allayed your suspicions. I wish you all health, and a little more courtesy. By
the bye, gentlemen, this—this is a very well constructed house." [In the
rabid desire to say something easily, I scarcely knew what I uttered at
all.]—"I may say an excellently well constructed house. These walls—are
you going, gentlemen?—these walls are solidly put together;" and here,
through the mere phrenzy of bravado, I rapped heavily, with a cane which I held
in my hand, upon that very portion of the brick-work behind which stood the
ghastly corpse of the wife of my bosom.
But
may God shield and deliver me from the fangs of the Arch-Fiend! No sooner had the
reverberation of my blows sunk into silence, than I was answered by a voice
from within the tomb!—by a cry, at first muffled and broken, like the sobbing
of a child, and then quickly swelling into one long, loud, and continuous
scream, utterly anomalous and inhuman—a howl—a wailing shriek, half of horror
and half of triumph, such as might have arisen only out of hell, conjointly
from the throats of the dammed in their agony and of the demons that exult in
the damnation!
Of
my own thoughts it is folly to speak. Swooning, I staggered to the opposite
wall. For one instant the party upon the stairs remained motionless, through
extremity of terror and of awe. In the next, a dozen stout arms were toiling at
the wall. It fell bodily. The corpse, already greatly decayed and clotted with
gore, stood erect before the eyes of the spectators. Upon its head, with red
extended mouth and solitary eye of fire, sat the hideous beast whose craft had
seduced me into murder, and whose informing voice had consigned me to the
hangman. I had walled the monster up
within the tomb!
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