Tuesday 24 May 2016

“Skull-Face” chapters 3 and 4 by Robert E. Howard (in English)



Chapter 3. The Master of Doom

"And He that toss'd you down into the Field,
He knows about it all - He knows! He knows!"
Omar Khayyam

A hand shook me roughly as I emerged languidly from my latest debauch.
            "The Master wishes you! Up, swine!"
            Hassim it was who shook me and who spoke.
            "To Hell with the Master!" I answered, for I hated Hassim - and feared him.
            "Up with you or you get no more hashish," was the brutal response, and I rose in trembling haste.
            I followed the huge black man and he led the way to the rear of the building, stepping in and out among the wretched dreamers on the floor.
            "Muster all hands on deck!" droned a sailor in a bunk. "All hands!"
            Hassim flung open the door at the rear and motioned me to enter. I had never before passed through that door and had supposed it led into Yun Shatu's private quarters. But it was furnished only with a cot, a bronze idol of some sort before which incense burned, and a heavy table.
            Hassim gave me a sinister glance and seized the table as if to spin it about. It turned as if it stood on a revolving platform and a section of the floor turned with it, revealing a hidden doorway in the floor. Steps led downward in the darkness.
            Hassim lighted a candle and with a brusque gesture invited me to descend. I did so, with the sluggish obedience of the dope addict, and he followed, closing the door above us by means of an iron lever fastened to the underside of the floor. In the semi-darkness we went down the rickety steps, some nine or ten I should say, and then came upon a narrow corridor.
            Here Hassim again took the lead, holding the candle high in front of him. I could scarcely see the sides of this cave-like passageway but knew that it was not wide. The flickering light showed it to be bare of any sort of furnishings save for a number of strange-looking chests which lined the walls - receptacles containing opium and other dope, I thought.
            A continuous scurrying and the occasional glint of small red eyes haunted the shadows, betraying the presence of vast numbers of the great rats which infest the Thames waterfront of that section.
            Then more steps loomed out of the dark in front of us as the corridor came to an abrupt end. Hassim led the way up and at the top knocked four times against what seemed the underside of a floor. A hidden door opened and a flood of soft, illusive light streamed through.
            Hassim hustled me up roughly and I stood blinking in such a setting as I had never seen in my wildest flights of vision. I stood in a jungle of palm trees through which wriggled a million vivid-hued dragons! Then, as my startled eyes became accustomed to the light, I saw that I had not been suddenly transferred to some other planet, as I had at first thought. The palm trees were there, and the dragons, but the trees were artificial and stood in great pots and the dragons writhed across heavy tapestries which hid the walls.
            The room itself was a monstrous affair - inhumanly large, it seemed to me. A thick smoke, yellowish and tropical in suggestion, seemed to hang over all, veiling the ceiling and baffling upward glances. This smoke, I saw, emanated from an altar in front of the wall to my left. I started. Through the saffron-billowing fog two eyes, hideously large and vivid, glittered at me. The vague outlines of some bestial idol took indistinct shape. I flung an uneasy glance about, marking the oriental divans and couches and the bizarre furnishings, and then my eyes halted and rested on a lacquer screen just in front of me.
            I could not pierce it and no sound came from beyond it, yet I felt eyes searing into my consciousness through it, eyes that burned through my very soul. A strange aura of evil flowed from that strange screen with its weird carvings and unholy decorations.
            Hassim salaamed profoundly before it and then, without speaking, stepped back and folded his arms, statue-like.
            A voice suddenly broke the heavy and oppressive silence.
            "You who are a swine, would you like to be a man again?"
            I started. The tone was inhuman, cold - more, there was a suggestion of long disuse of the vocal organs - the voice I had heard in my dream!
            "Yes," I replied, trance-like, "I would like to be a man again."
            Silence ensued for a space; then the voice came again with a sinister whispering undertone at the back of its sound like bats flying through a cavern.
            "I shall make you a man again because I am a friend to all broken men. Not for a price shall I do it, nor for gratitude. And I give you a sign to seal my promise and my vow. Thrust your hand through the screen."
            At these strange and almost unintelligible words I stood perplexed, and then, as the unseen voice repeated the last command, I stepped forward and thrust my hand through a slit which opened silently in the screen. I felt my wrist seized in an iron grip and something seven times colder than ice touched the inside of my hand. Then my wrist was released, and drawing forth my hand I saw a strange symbol traced in blue close to the base of my thumb - a thing like a scorpion.
            The voice spoke again in a sibilant language I did not understand, and Hassim stepped forward deferentially. He reached about the screen and then turned to me, holding a goblet of some amber-colored liquid which he proffered me with an ironical bow. I took it hesitatingly.
            "Drink and fear not," said the unseen voice. "It is only an Egyptian wine with life-giving qualities."
            So I raised the goblet and emptied it; the taste was not unpleasant, and even as I handed the beaker to Hassim again, I seemed to feel new life and vigor whip along my jaded veins.
            "Remain at Yun Shatu's house," said the voice. "You will be given food and a bed until you are strong enough to work for yourself. You will use no hashish nor will you require any. Go!"
            As in a daze, I followed Hassim back through the hidden door, down the steps, along the dark corridor and up through the other door that let us into the Temple of Dreams.
            As we stepped from the rear chamber into the main room of the dreamers, I turned to the Negro wonderingly.
            "Master? Master of what? Of Life?"
            Hassim laughed, fiercely and sardonically.
            "Master of Doom!"


Chapter 4. The Spider and the Fly
"There was the Door to which I found no Key;
There was the Veil through which I might not see."
Omar Khayyam


I sat on Yun Shatu's cushions and pondered with a clearness of mind new and strange to me. As for that, all my sensations were new and strange. I felt as if I had wakened from a monstrously long sleep, and though my thoughts were sluggish, I felt as though the cobwebs which had dogged them for so long had been partly brushed away.
            I drew my hand across my brow, noting how it trembled. I was weak and shaky and felt the stirrings of hunger--not for dope but for food. What had been in the draft I had quenched in the chamber of mystery? And why had the "Master" chosen me, out of all the other wretches of Yun Shatu's, for regeneration?
            And who was this Master? Somehow the word sounded vaguely familiar - I sought laboriously to remember. Yes - I had heard it, lying half-waking in the bunks or on the floor - whispered sibilantly by Yun Shatu or by Hassim or by Yussef Ali, the Moor, muttered in their low-voiced conversations and mingled always with words I could not understand. Was not Yun Shatu, then, master of the Temple of Dreams? I had thought and the other addicts thought that the withered Chinaman held undisputed sway over this drab kingdom and that Hassim and Yussef Ali were his servants. And the four China boys who roasted opium with Yun Shatu and Yar Khan the Afghan and Santiago the Haitian and Ganra Singh, the renegade Sikh - all in the pay of Yun Shatu, we supposed - bound to the opium lord by bonds of gold or fear.
            For Yun Shatu was a power in London's Chinatown and I had heard that his tentacles reached across the seas into high places of mighty and mysterious tongs. Was that Yun Shatu behind the lacquer screen? No; I knew the Chinaman's voice and besides I had seen him puttering about in the front of the Temple just as I went through the back door.
            Another thought came to me. Often, lying half-torpid, in the late hours of night or in the early grayness of dawn, I had seen men and women steal into the Temple, whose dress and bearing were strangely out of place and incongruous. Tall, erect men, often in evening dress, with their hats drawn low about their brows, and fine ladies, veiled, in silks and furs. Never two of them came together, but always they came separately and, hiding their features, hurried to the rear door, where they entered and presently came forth again, hours later sometimes. Knowing that the lust for dope finds resting-place in high positions sometimes, I had never wondered overmuch, supposing that these were wealthy men and women of society who had fallen victims to the craving, and that somewhere in the back of the building there was a private chamber for such. Yet now I wondered - sometimes these persons had remained only a few moments - was it always opium for which they came, or did they, too, traverse that strange corridor and converse with the One behind the screen?
            My mind dallied with the idea of a great specialist to whom came all classes of people to find surcease from the dope habit. Yet it was strange that such a one should select a dope-joint from which to work - strange, too, that the owner of that house should apparently look on him with so much reverence.
            I gave it up as my head began to hurt with the unwonted effort of thinking, and shouted for food. Yussef Ali brought it to me on a tray, with a promptness which was surprizing. More, he salaamed as he departed, leaving me to ruminate on the strange shift of my status in the Temple of Dreams.
            I ate, wondering what the One of the screen wanted with me. Not for an instant did I suppose that his actions had been prompted by the reasons he pretended; the life of the underworld had taught me that none of its denizens leaned toward philanthropy. And underworld the chamber of mystery had been, in spite of its elaborate and bizarre nature. And where could it be located? How far had I walked along the corridor? I shrugged my shoulders, wondering if it were not all a hashish-induced dream; then my eye fell upon my hand - and the scorpion traced thereon.
            "Muster all hands!" droned the sailor in the bunk. "All hands!"
            To tell in detail of the next few days would be boresome to any who have not tasted the dire slavery of dope. I waited for the craving to strike me again--waited with sure sardonic hopelessness. All day, all night - another day - then the miracle was forced upon my doubting brain. Contrary to all theories and supposed facts of science and common sense the craving had left me as suddenly and completely as a bad dream! At first I could not credit my senses but believed myself to be still in the grip of a dope nightmare. But it was true. From the time I quaffed the goblet in the room of mystery, I felt not the slightest desire for the stuff which had been life itself to me. This, I felt vaguely, was somehow unholy and certainly opposed to all rules of nature. If the dread being behind the screen had discovered the secret of breaking hashish's terrible power, what other monstrous secrets had he discovered and what unthinkable dominance was his? The suggestion of evil crawled serpent-like through my mind.
            I remained at Yun Shatu's house, lounging in a bunk or on cushions spread upon the floor, eating and drinking at will, but now that I was becoming a normal man again, the atmosphere became most revolting to me and the sight of the wretches writhing in their dreams reminded me unpleasantly of what I myself had been, and it repelled, nauseated me.
            So one day, when no one was watching me, I rose and went out on the street and walked along the waterfront. The air, burdened though it was with smoke and foul scents, filled my lungs with strange freshness and aroused new vigor in what had once been a powerful frame. I took new interest in the sounds of men living and working, and the sight of a vessel being unloaded at one of the wharfs actually thrilled me. The force of longshoremen was short, and presently I found myself heaving and lifting and carrying, and though the sweat coursed down my brow and my limbs trembled at the effort, I exulted in the thought that at last I was able to labor for myself again, no matter how low or drab the work might be.
            As I returned to the door of Yun Shatu's that evening - hideously weary but with the renewed feeling of manhood that comes of honest toil - Hassim met me at the door.
            "You been where?" he demanded roughly.
            "I've been working on the docks," I answered shortly.
            "You don't need to work on docks," he snarled. "The Master got work for you."
            He led the way, and again I traversed the dark stairs and the corridor under the earth. This time my faculties were alert and I decided that the passageway could not be over thirty or forty feet in length. Again I stood before the lacquer screen and again I heard the inhuman voice of living death.
            "I can give you work," said the voice. "Are you willing to work for me?"
            I quickly assented. After all, in spite of the fear which the voice inspired, I was deeply indebted to the owner.
            "Good. Take these."
            As I started toward the screen a sharp command halted me and Hassim stepped forward and reaching behind took what was offered. This was a bundle of pictures and papers, apparently.
            "Study these," said the One behind the screen, "and learn all you can about the man portrayed thereby. Yun Shatu will give you money; buy yourself such clothes as seamen wear and take a room at the front of the Temple. At the end of two days, Hassim will bring you to me again. Go!"
            The last impression I had, as the hidden door closed above me, was that the eyes of the idol, blinking through the everlasting smoke, leered mockingly at me.
            The front of the Temple of Dreams consisted of rooms for rent, masking the true purpose of the building under the guise of a waterfront boarding house. The police had made several visits to Yun Shatu but had never got any incriminating evidence against him.
            So in one of these rooms I took up my abode and set to work studying the material given me.
            The pictures were all of one man, a large man, not unlike me in build and general facial outline, except that he wore a heavy beard and was inclined to blondness whereas I am dark. The name, as written on the accompanying papers, was Major Fairlan Morley, special commissioner to Natal and the Transvaal. This office and title were new to me and I wondered at the connection between an African commissioner and an opium house on the Thames waterfront.
            The papers consisted of extensive data evidently copied from authentic sources and all dealing with Major Morley, and a number of private documents considerably illuminating on the major's private life.
            An exhaustive description was given of the man's personal appearance and habits, some of which seemed very trivial to me. I wondered what the purpose could be, and how the One behind the screen had come in possession of papers of such intimate nature.
            I could find no clue in answer to this question but bent all my energies to the task set out for me. I owed a deep debt of gratitude to the unknown man who required this of me and I was determined to repay him to the best of my ability. Nothing, at this time, suggested a snare to me.

Saturday 21 May 2016

“The Bat, the Birds and the Beasts” by Aesop (in English)



      A great conflict was about to come off between the Birds and the Beasts.  When the two armies were collected together the Bat hesitated which to join.  The Birds that passed his perch said: "Come with us"; but he said: "I am a Beast."  Later on, some Beasts who were passing underneath him looked up and said: "Come with us"; but he said: "I am a Bird."  Luckily at the last moment peace was made, and no battle took place, so the Bat came to the Birds and wished to join in the rejoicings, but they all turned against him and he had to fly away.  He then went to the Beasts, but soon had to beat a retreat, or else they would have torn him to pieces.  "Ah," said the Bat, "I see now,

            "He that is neither one thing nor the other has no friends."

Friday 20 May 2016

"Apparecchio alla Morte" by St Alfonso Maria de Liguori (in Italian) - II



CONSIDERAZIONE I - RITRATTO D'UN UOMO DA POCO TEMPO PASSATO ALL'ALTRA VITA
 «Pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris» (Gen. 3. 19).


PUNTO I
            Considera che sei terra, ed in terra hai da ritornare. Ha da venire un giorno che hai da morire e da trovarti a marcire in una fossa, dove sarai coverto da' vermi. «Operimentum tuum erunt vermes» (Is. 14. 11). A tutti ha da toccare la stessa sorte, a nobili ed a plebei, a principi ed a vassalli. Uscita che sarà l'anima dal corpo con quell'ultima aperta di bocca, l'anima anderà alla sua eternità, e 'l corpo ha da ridursi in polvere. «Auferes spiritum eorum, et in pulverem revertentur» (Ps. 103. 29).
            Immaginati di veder una persona, da cui poco fa sia spirata l'anima. Mira in quel cadavere, che ancora sta sul letto, il capo caduto sul petto: i capelli scarmigliati ed ancor bagnati dal sudor della morte: gli occhi incavati, le guance smunte, la faccia in color di cenere, la lingua e le labbra in color di ferro, il corpo freddo e pesante. Chi lo vede s'impallidisce e trema. Quanti alla vista di un parente o amico defunto hanno mutato vita e lasciato il mondo!
            Maggior orrore dà poi il cadavere, quando principia a marcire. Non saranno passate ancora 24 ore ch'è morto quel giovine, e la puzza si fa sentire. Bisogna aprir le finestre e bruciar molto incenso, anzi procurare che presto si mandi alla chiesa, e si metta sotto terra, acciocché non ammorbi tutta la casa. E l'essere stato quel corpo d'un nobile, o d'un ricco non servirà che per mandare un fetore più intollerabile. «Gravius foetent divitum corpora», dice un autore.
            Ecco dove è arrivato quel superbo, quel disonesto! Prima accolto e desiderato nelle conversazioni, ora diventato l'orrore e l'abbominio di chi lo vede. Ond'è che s'affrettano i parenti a farlo cacciar di casa, e si pagano i facchini, acciocché chiuso in una cassa lo portino a buttarlo in una sepoltura. Prima volava la fama del suo spirito, della sua garbatezza, delle sue belle maniere e delle sue lepidezze; ma tra poco ch'è morto, se ne perde la memoria. «Periit memoria eorum cum sonitu» (Ps. 9. 7).
            Al sentir la nuova della sua morte altri dice: Costui si facea onore; altri: Ha lasciata bene accomodata la casa; altri se ne rammaricano, perché il defunto recava loro qualche utile; altri se ne rallegrano, perché la sua morte loro giova. Del resto, tra poco tempo da niuno più se ne parlerà. E sin dal principio i parenti più stretti non vogliono sentirne più parlare, affinché non si rinnovi loro la passione. Nelle visite di condoglienze si parla d'altro; e se taluno esce a parlar del defunto, dice il parente: Per carità non me lo nominate più.
            Pensate che siccome voi avete fatto nella morte de' vostri amici e congiunti, così gli altri faranno di voi. Entrano i vivi a far comparsa nella scena e ad occupare i beni e i posti de' morti; e de' morti niente o poco si fa più stima o menzione. I parenti a principio resteranno afflitti per qualche giorno, ma tra poco si consoleranno con quella porzione di robe, che sarà loro toccata; sicché tra poco più presto si rallegreranno della vostra morte; e in quella medesima stanza, dove voi avrete spirata l'anima, e sarete stato giudicato da Gesu-Cristo, si ballerà, si mangerà, si giuocherà e riderà come prima; e l'anima vostra dove allora starà?

Affetti e preghiere
            O Gesù mio Redentore, vi ringrazio che non mi avete fatto morire, quando io stava in disgrazia vostra. Da quanti anni io meriterei di star nell'inferno! S'io moriva in quel giorno, in quella notte, che ne sarebbe di me per tutta l'eternità? Signore, ve ne ringrazio. Io accetto la mia morte in soddisfazione de' miei peccati; e l'accetto secondo il modo che a Voi piacerà di mandarmela; ma giacché mi avete aspettato sinora, aspettatemi un altro poco. «Dimitte me, ut plangam paululum dolorem meum» (Iob. 10. 20). Datemi tempo da piangere l'offese che v'ho12 fatte, prima che mi abbiate a giudicare.
            Io non voglio più resistere alle vostre voci. Chi sa, se queste parole che ho lette, sono l'ultima chiamata per me! Confesso che non merito pietà: Voi tante volte mi avete perdonato, ed io ingrato ho ritornato ad offendervi. «Cor contritum, et humiliatum Deus non despicies» (Ps. 50). Signore, giacché Voi non sapete disprezzare un cuore, che si umilia e si pente, ecco il traditore che pentito a Voi ricorre. «Ne proiicias me a facie tua». Per pietà non mi discacciate. Voi avete detto: «Eum, qui venit ad me, non eiiciam foras» (Io. 6. 37). È vero ch'io v'ho oltraggiato più degli altri, perché più degli altri sono stato da Voi favorito di lumi e di grazie; ma il sangue che avete sparso per me mi dà animo, e mi offerisce il perdono, s'io mi pento. Sì, mio sommo bene, che mi pento con tutta l'anima di avervi disprezzato. Perdonatemi, e datemi la grazia di amarvi per l'avvenire. Basta quanto vi ho offeso. La vita, che mi resta, no, Gesù mio, non la voglio più spendere ad offendervi; voglio spenderla solo a piangere sempre i disgusti, che vi ho dati, e ad amarvi con tutto il cuore, o Dio degno d'infinito amore.
            O Maria, speranza mia, pregate Gesù per me.



PUNTO II
            Ma per meglio vedere quel che sei, cristiano mio, dice S. Gio. Grisostomo: «Perge ad sepulcrum, contemplare pulverem, cineres, vermes, et suspira». Mira come quel cadavere prima diventa giallo e poi nero. Dopo si fa vedere su tutto il corpo una lanugine bianca e schifosa. Indi scaturisce un marciume viscoso e puzzolente, che cola per terra. In quella marcia si genera poi una gran turba di vermi, che si nutriscono delle stesse carni. S'aggiungono i topi a far pasto su quel corpo, altri girando da fuori, altri entrando nella bocca e nelle viscere. Cadono a pezzi le guance, le labbra e i capelli; le coste son le prime a spolparsi, poi le braccia e le gambe. I vermi dopo aversi consumato tutte le carni, si consumano da loro stessi; e finalmente di quel corpo non resta che un fetente scheletro, che col tempo si divide, separandosi l'ossa, e cadendo il capo dal busto. «Redacta quasi in favillam aestivae areae, quae rapta sunt vento» (Dan. 2. 35). Ecco che cosa è l'uomo, è un poco di polvere, che in un'aia è portata dal vento.
            Ecco quel cavaliere, ch'era chiamato lo spasso, l'anima della conversazione, dov'è? Entrate nella sua stanza, non v'è più. Se ricercate il suo letto, si è dato ad altri; se le sue vesti, le sue armi, altri già se l'han prese e divise. Se volete vederlo, affacciatevi a quella fossa, dov'è mutato in succidume ed ossa spolpate. Oh Dio quel corpo nutrito con tante delizie, vestito con tanta pompa, corteggiato da tanti servi, a questo si è ridotto? O santi, voi l'intendeste, che per amore di quel Dio che solo amaste in questa terra, sapeste mortificare i vostri corpi, ed ora le vostre ossa son tenute e pregiate come reliquie sacre tra gli ori, e le vostre belle anime godono Dio, aspettando il giorno finale, in cui verranno anche i vostri corpi per esser compagni della gloria, come sono stati della croce in questa vita. Questo è il vero amore al corpo, caricarlo qui di strazi, acciocché in eterno sia felice; e negargli quei piaceri, che lo renderanno infelice in eterno.

Affetti e preghiere
            Ecco dunque, mio Dio, a che dovrà ridursi anche il mio corpo, per cui tanto vi ho offeso! vermi e marciume. Ma non mi affligge, o Signore, anzi mi compiaccio che abbia a così putrefarsi e consumarsi questa mia carne, che mi ha fatto perdere Voi, sommo bene; quello che mi affligge è ch'io per prendermi quei miseri gusti, ho dati tanti disgusti a Voi. Ma non voglio diffidare della vostra misericordia. Voi mi avete aspettato per perdonarmi. «Exspectat Deus, ut misereatur vestri» (Is. 30. 18). E volete perdonarmi, s'io mi pento. Sì, che mi pento con tutto il cuore, o bontà infinita, d'avervi disprezzata. Vi dirò con S. Caterina da Genova: «Gesù mio, non più peccati, non più peccati». Non voglio no più abusarmi della vostra pazienza. Né voglio aspettare, amor mio crocifisso, ad abbracciarvi, quando mi sarete consegnato dal confessore in punto di morte; da ora v'abbraccio, da ora vi raccomando l'anima mia: «In manus tuas, Domine, commendo spiritum meum». L'anima mia è stata per tanti anni al mondo, e non vi ha amato; datemi luce e forza ch'io v'ami in questa vita che mi resta. Non voglio aspettare ad amarvi nell'ora della morte; da ora v'amo, v'abbraccio e vi stringo, e prometto di non lasciarvi più.
            O Vergine SS., ligatemi con Gesu-Cristo, ed ottenetemi ch'io più non lo perda.



PUNTO III
            Fratello mio, in questo ritratto della morte vedi te stesso, e quello che hai da diventare. «Memento, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris». Pensa che tra pochi anni, e forse tra mesi o giorni diventerai putredine e vermi. Giobbe con questo pensiero si fece santo: «Putredini dixi, pater meus es tu, mater mea et soror mea vermibus» (Iob. 17. 14).
            Tutto ha da finire; e se l'anima tua in morte si perderà, tutto sarà perduto per te. «Considera te iam mortuum», dice S. Lorenzo Giustiniani, «quem scis de necessitate moriturum» (De Ligno vitae, cap. 4). Se tu fossi già morto, che non desidereresti di aver fatto per Dio? Ora che sei vivo, pensa che un giorno hai da trovarti morto. Dice S. Bonaventura che il nocchiero per ben governar la nave, si mette alla coda di quella; così l'uomo per menar buona vita, dee immaginarsi sempre come stesse in morte. Di là, dice S. Bernardo: «Vide prima et erubesce», guarda i peccati della gioventù, ed abbine rossore: «Vide media, et ingemisce», guarda i peccati della virilità, e piangi: «Vide novissima, et contremisce», guarda gli ultimi presenti sconcerti della tua vita, e trema, e presto rimedia.
            S. Camillo de Lellis, quando si affacciava sulle fosse de' morti, dicea tra sé: Se questi tornassero a vivere, che non farebbero per la vita eterna? ed io che ho tempo, che fo per l'anima? Ma ciò lo dicea questo Santo per umiltà. Ma voi, fratello mio, forse con ragione potete temere d'essere quel fico senza frutto, di cui diceva il Signore: «Ecce anni tres sunt, ex quo venio quaerens fructum in ficulnea hac, et non invenio» (Luc. 13. 7). Voi più che da tre anni state nel mondo, che frutto avete dato? Vedete, dice S. Bernardo, che il Signore non solo cerca fiori, ma vuole anche frutti, cioè non solo buoni desideri e propositi, ma vuole anche opere sante. Sappiate dunque avvalervi di questo tempo, che Dio vi dà per sua misericordia; non aspettate a desiderare il tempo di far bene, quando non sarà più tempo, e vi sarà detto: «Tempus non erit amplius: Proficiscere», presto, ora è tempo di partire da questo mondo, presto, quel ch'è fatto è fatto.

Affetti e preghiere
            Eccomi, Dio mio, io sono quell'albero, che da tanti anni meritava di sentire: «Succide ergo illam, ut quid etiam terram occupat?» Sì, perché da tanti anni che sto al mondo, non v'ho dati altri frutti, che di triboli e spine di peccati. Ma Signore, Voi non volete che io mi disperi.
Voi avete detto a tutti che chi vi cerca, vi trova: «Quaerite, et invenietis». Io vi cerco, mio Dio, e voglio la grazia vostra. Di tutte l'offese che v'ho fatte, me ne dispiace con tutto il cuore, vorrei morirne di dolore. Per lo passato v'ho fuggito, ma ora stimo più la vostra amicizia che 'l possedere tutti i regni della terra. Non voglio resistere più alle vostre chiamate. Mi volete tutto per Voi, tutto a Voi mi dono, senza riserba. Voi sulla croce vi siete dato tutto a me, io mi do tutto a Voi.
            Voi avete detto: «Si quid petieritis me in nomine meo, hoc faciam» (Ioan. 14. 14). Gesù mio, io fidato a questa gran promessa, in nome vostro, e per li meriti vostri vi cerco la vostra grazia, il vostro amore. Fate che abbondi la grazia, e 'l vostro santo amore nell'anima mia, dov'è abbondato il peccato. Vi ringrazio che mi date lo spirito di farvi questa preghiera; mentre Voi me l'ispirate, è segno che volete esaudirmi. Esauditemi, Gesù mio, datemi un grande amore verso di Voi, datemi un gran desiderio di darvi gusto e poi la forza d'eseguirlo.
            O mia grande Avvocata Maria, esauditemi ancora Voi; pregate Gesù per me.